10 Comments
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amanda's avatar

this is the one

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Buku Sarkar's avatar

Incredibly beautiful from a writer and ex tennis pro. A small suggestion? I’d take out the very last line. Sorry the teacher and editor and me always comes out, but there is a saying in writing that the story or poem or whatever it is that you’re working on, that the ending is actually too or one sentence before the ending you really have.

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Jane Stephens Rosenthal Cooke's avatar

I totally agree!

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Jane Stephens Rosenthal Cooke's avatar

I tend to underwrite but yes that last line is an unnecessary squeeze.

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Buku Sarkar's avatar

Oh, I didn’t even realize this was your post. I was wondering who this person was. I’m terrible at looking at by lines. It’s the last thing I look at

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Buku Sarkar's avatar

I’m voice dictating as I am unable to use my hands so I apologize for the typos

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Jill Prendergast's avatar

Ohhh I love this.

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Jinsoo's avatar

I don't know, I kinda like that last line.

The whole piece is really strong and sexy and spooky. That last line especially has that haunting quality.

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Nancy Stephens's avatar

I think of him so often and this just touched my heart! And yes a scar! As so many losses are….

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Rick. Rosenthal's avatar

sad but a beautiful tribute

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